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The Chicago Cubs Fans

2009-09-17T17:18:00Z

I used to think it was just Chicago sports fans in general that were ass-bag douches, but later realized that Bulls, White Sox, and Blackhawk fans were not pompous shits. It must just be something about the Cubs. I can say this because I am totally impartial, I have no commitment to any teams and I find baseball slow and boring, it's like watching grass grow, but without the climatic ending when it gets mowed. And what is with that season could we drag it out any longer, wouldn't 50 games be enough?

Let me start by saying the "Chicago Cubs Fans" DO NOT want the Cubs to win the World Series. YES! You read that correctly they don't want their team to win. They will say they do, they will say shit like "We'll get them next year" or "This is the year we take the series", but they don't believe that, nor do they want that. All Chicago Cubs Fans have is their loyalty to a team that never wins it all. They wear it like a badge. I will credit them, so many people are fair-weather-fans and it is nice to see some loyalty, but shut the fuck up about it already. We all know your team has sucked incontinent ass for a century and that's great that you haven't jumped on the Yankees band wagon, but nobody cares how loyal you have been. If the Chicago Cubs were to win a World Series, what would the fans have? They would have nothing no "Goat Curse", no "Black Cat in the Dugout" no "I have been loyal despite season after season of humiliation." None of it. If the Chicago Cubs actually won it all the Chicago Cubs Fan would have nothing, their entire world would be in ruins. The Chicago Cubs Fans would much rather say I have supported the underdog all my life than have their team win a World Series.

Slick as spit

2009-08-03T01:00:00Z

So the other day me and my friend Praire Dawg were talking and the topic of adult films somehow came up. It turns out me and P-Dawg are both bothered by the same thing, "Unnecessary Spitting" in the porn industry. I understand that they don't have the budget of a Harry Potter or a Batman movie, but surly they can afford some lube. First she's spitting phlegm on his phallus, then he's hawkin a oyster on her clan and then some other chic comes in and spittles where she dittles, and then more people enter and more slobbering goes on, When does it end?

I personally find a bunch of naked people spitting on each other kind of a turn off. If it's in the budget for Rachel Ray to use so damn much damn EVOO, why can't the porn stars have a tube of Astroglide, can of Crisco, bottle of Wesson, some WD-40, a can of butter flavored Pam, a coffee can of bacon grease, a quart of Quakerstate, or anything else slick.

I mean come on people, is there really another occupation around more in need of some lube? Couldn't they sign an endorsement deal with KY or something (a little product placement never hurt anyone). KY could market some new products from such a deal. Such as: "I can't believe it's not a loogie" or "Odrools". If we all work together I'm sure we could but a end to "unnecessary spitting in the porn industry".

What A long strange trip it's been

2008-12-17T13:41:00Z

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I once had an english teacher who said never start a sentence with So. So everytime I do it is like a gift wrapped fuck you just for him.

The other day my cousin CJ called. He had just scored some acid and wanted to know if I wanted go check out the holiday lights and hit a few clubs with him. I was in the middle of lecturing him on the dangers of hallucinogenics, when my mom buzzed in on the other line. She needed me to come over immediately. She said it was a family crisis. So I hung up on CJ and rushed over to my parents' house.

About a week ago my mom had slipped on some ice and busted her hip. I assumed it had something to do with that. I got to the house and mom told me that dad was missing. Mom has been unable to keep an eye on dad because of her hip injury and she thinks he has been watching war movies. My father has never served in the military but he has a rare post-traumatic stress condition where if he watches to many war movies he begins to have flashbacks and wig out. So I told mom I would go find dad.

I drove around for about 15 minutes looking for dad. Just when I was about to give up and call the police, I saw a monkey in full camouflage and boots dart down an alley, that had to be dad (green camouflage sticks out like a sore thumb in the snow). So I followed him. I later found him setting a trip wire in front of the Nail-Me-Good nail salon. After I calmed him down I got him into the car and was about to take him home, when my phone rang. It was the owner of Organ Grinders, a local strip club, there was an altercation and he wanted me to come pick up cousin CJ. So me and dad went to pick up CJ.

As soon as we walked inside my dad yells "Nothing in the world smells like that." "I love the smell of Cotton Candy Body spray in the morning". I knew bringing him here was a mistake but I didn't have time to take him home. I told the bounce I was here to pick up CJ and asked him what happened. He said "Jade walked up to CJ and he started freaking out and talking about anaphylactic shock and asking for epinephrine" "So I cuffed him to a pole in a VIP room." So the bouncer took me to CJ. They had a hold'em tournament going on in the VIP room, I guess when they called me and not the police. I asked CJ what had happened and he went on to tell me that Jade put a piece of lasagna in his face and that with his severe tomato food allergies he was afraid of going into anaphylactic shock. CJ was defiantly tripping balls, but in his defense, I saw Jade when I walked in and her clam wallet did resemble a piece of lasagna. Dad went on to tell CJ that "You can never trust a Da Nang stripper." "They are all love you long time until you find out that she hid a razor blade in her lasagna in hopes of splitting your breadstick."

I got CJ and Dad back in the car and decided I would take them back to my house for the night so I could keep an eye on them. Some days I really hate my family.

The Aristocrats (America’s Got Talent Edition)

2008-09-25T05:00:00Z

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Aristocrats (America’s Got Talent Edition)
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

The Aristocrats (America's Got Talent Edition)

Jerry Springer - "This next act comes from Dayton Ohio, let's hear a round of applause for Gus, Sue and Friends."

Gus and Sue come out and Gus simply says "We will entertain you". Then Sue drops to the ground and spreads her legs to reveal she is not wearing any panties. She pulls out a harmonica and begins to play a Blues Travelers song with her meat wallet. After she has completed the song she stands up and starts to juggle some tennis balls. While she is juggling Gus begins to beef her from behind.

Piers Morgan BUZZ

The buzzing doesn't break Sue or Gus's concentration at all. After a few minutes the jugging is done and Gus takes the five tennis balls and shoves them into Sue's cooch. Out walks Billie Jean King. She stands on the opposite side of the stage and Sue, using only the power of her vagina, shoots the tennis balls to Billie Jean. The balls fly toward Billie Jean at a great velocity but she is able to smack them into the crowd with her racket. After the fifth ball is returned Billie Jean goes trout snout on Sue while using her racket handle as an anal stimulator.

Then out walks Season 2 winner Terry Fator. Terry comes out with a puppet that looks like R Kelly. The puppet begins to sing "Bump and Grind". Then the puppet undoes his pants to expose his puppet peter and begins to piss on all the underage girls in the crowd. Then Terry did something to prove he was the worlds best ventriloquist. He went over and sucked off Gus for the rest of the song, never missing a beat or a word. Any ventriloquist can drink water while performing, but how many can suck a cock? And that was where the act ended.

Jerry Springer - "That was great, If this act doesn't work out for you, your more than welcome on my show anytime." "Let's go to the judges"

David Hasselhoff - "That was awesome!" "It reminded me of this time on the set of my hit television series Baywatch" "Jeremy Jackson was in my dressing room practicing CPR on my Johnson when in walks Pamela Anderson who insists on us both giving her an Alabama Hot Pocket which of course lead to a Devils Three Way." "I refer to that night as 2 guys, 2 D-Cups with a side order of E. Coli and Hepatitis." "Your act had that kind of power and emotion, You are what this show is all about." "As far as I'm concerned your the act to beat, Your going to Vegas"

Sharon Osbourne - "That act was barking mad, but I loved every last minute of it." "It reminded me of this time when Black Sabbath and Judas Priest were touring together." "I found Ozzy backstage biting the head off of Rob Halford's uncircumcised penis, then Ozzy lubed a mic stand up with Crisco and lodged about 3 feet of it up Rob's bum which of course lead to a Devils Three Way" Then we all got piss drunk and ended the evening giving each other Golden Showers at the Alamo while Ronnie James Dio stood in the corner and masturbated." "That was the last day I really felt alive, until today." "You act has the power to change lives, it's a YES from me your going to Vegas."

Piers Morgan - "The reason I buzzed was because you started with some heterosexual anal sex and I am repulsed by anything heterosexual, but once you brought out Terry and the dyke tennis player things heated up and I rather enjoyed your act. It's a Yes from me, Your going to Vegas. But I was thinking that an act of this magnitude needs a catchy name, So Gus have you given any thought of what you are going to call your act.

Gus - "me and Sue were thinking of calling ourselves "The Aristocrats"

Geek poetry slam – Star Wars Edition

2008-08-27T05:00:00Z

Ode To Princess Leia

Princess Leia
Yoda one for me.
Lookin for love in Alderaan places
You finally found a guy who'd give his right hand for you
Size matters not.
Look at me.
Judge me by my size, do you?
Give me twelve parsecs and you will call me 'Master'
Yoda one for me
How I long to force my lightsaber into your small thermal exhaust port
You R2 good to me.
How I long to spurt my Midi-chlorians all over your Naboobies.
You R2 good to me.
How I long to introduce my Hutt sized erection to places warmer than a tomtoms belly
You R2 good to me.
How I long to prove I am no rookie and go face down in your wookie.
You R2 good for me.
But where you are is unknown
And I'm here all alone
I don't even have a clone
But I do have this bone
So I'll rub one out alone
---SOLO---
Our love will ENDOR!

Celebrity Clue

2008-04-14T05:00:00Z

The other day I ran across my old CLUE game and as I was looking though the game cards, I thought to myself that this game is kind of dated. Don't get me wrong Miss Scarlet and Mr. Green had a big part in my childhood, I just think something should be done to make the game fresh again. Then it hit me Celebrities. They have a Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fit Club, Celebrity Jeopardy, Why not a Celebrity Clue?

So I started working on making some cards. Then I was thinking in Clue it's all about who killed Mr. Boddy. That was OK 20 years ago, but today you need some variety so Celebrity Clue should have a whole list of murdered victims to choose from. So now instead of the same victim everytime you can choose from Nicole Brown Simpson , Ronald Goldman, Kurt Cobain, Mary Jo Kopechne, Bonnie Lee Bakley, Awatef Aboudihaj and many others.

Old Clue had you asking "Was it Professor Plum with the wrench in the Library?" Celebrity Clue will you asking stuff like "Was it Tom Cruise with the cleats on Oprah's Couch?" Now that's fresh! This is still a work in progress but here are a few examples of some of my Celebrity Clue Cards

(The following cards are arranged in no particular order)

I was also thinking. Maybe it shouldn't always be a person that got killed. Maybe the victims could be things like Tom Cruise's Credibility, Britney Spears sanity, or Pee Wee Herman's career.

(Once again The following cards are arranged in no particular order)

I'm not sure, maybe it's better if we stick to people. Please leave some suggestions

More Celebrity Clue Cards:

Thought we were Americans

2008-01-17T05:00:00Z

I live in the great state of Illinois, where they have recently put a smoking ban into effect. As of January 1, smoking is illegal in restaurants, bars, nightclubs, workplaces, and all public buildings. Smoking is also banned within 15 feet of building entrances, exits, and windows. As a no-smoker I couldn't give less of a shit about the new law. But smokers seem to think that some how they lost their constitutional rights. Not a day goes by I don't hear a smoker say "I thought I lived in America" or "Thought we were Americans" or "Wish we still lived in America". I hear these phrases so much that if I got 5 dollars every time I heard a disgruntle smoker utter these words I would be able to buy another Porsche by the end of January (this may be a slight exaggeration, but it would be close)
I have nothing against smokers, but their constant bitching is driving me crazy. So you can't smoke in a restaurant, restaurants are for eating not smoking, So you can't smoke at work, I can't masturbate at work either, but you don't hear me quoting the bill of rights about it. So you can't smoke in bars and nightclubs, alright, you got me, that one is kind of bullshit. I'm sorry you can't smoke, but it's not like someone made you sit at the back of the bus because you smoked or arrested you for drinking from the non-smokers water fountain. (You are not oppressed).

As a non-smoker one thing that does bother me is when people come over and smoke in my house. I got this friend Steve, and every time he comes over he lights up. And every time I have to say "Hay Steve you know I don't smoke, why did you light up", and he gives me a "Sorry, dude". So last week Steve was over and he lit up as usual. So I gave him my standard don't smoke in my house thing and instead of his standard "Sorry dude" I got the new smokers battle cry "I thought I lived in America". Which really pissed me off, I don't care if Steve wants to be an obnoxious fuck about smoking to restaurants, bars, nightclubs, or at work. But it's my house and my policy has never changed.

So I was over at Steve's house the other night having a few beers. That's when I noticed he had bought new furniture; he had this new leather sofa and love seat. I swear to you the more I drank the more that leather love seat looked like a naked Oprah Winfrey. I knew that Steve didn't dry hump his furniture, but then I thought back about how rude he was about smoking in my house, so I fucked the shit out of that love seat. Steve was all "Get the hell off my sofa!" I simply relied "Sorry dude, I thought I lived in America"
I wonder which is harder to get rid of, the smell of smoke in a room, or love stains on a leather sofa.

Who are the people in your neighborhood

2007-11-12T05:00:00Z

Last week my cousin CJ moved out of my house and into his own apartment. It's nice to have the old bachelor pad back to myself. CJ's place is really nice, I guess Circuit City pays pretty well.

So Friday night I took the last box of CJ's shit out to his new apartment. I knew if I didn't bring him his crap, I would never get it out of my garage. Once I got there he insisted on introducing me to his new neighbors.

First CJ took me to meet the people who live in apartment 3A (CJ refers to them as his neighbros). They were a couple of brothers (when I say brothers I mean they had the same momma, different dads, but the same momma) who were trying to put out a rap album. They go by the name "3 Legged Dawgs". They played a demo CD for us and I must say the song "Fist-Fula-Honeyhole" was awfully catchy. They seemed pretty nice but I was happy to leave. They had been burning some incense or something before we came over and the smoke was making my mouth dry.

Then CJ took me to meet Donald and Mason, they live in apartment 1A (CJ refers to them as his gaybors). They were the nicest packers I had ever met (when I say packers I mean they play for the Green Bay Packers). They even made us some hot wings to snack on while we talked. I don't know why I was so damn hungry, but them hot wings really hit the spot.

Finally CJ took me to meet his upstairs neighbor, Luka, (CJ refers to her as crazy bitch, with the monster rack, on the 2^nd floor). Unfortunatlly, she wasn't home. But CJ was telling me that she has an inner ear infection or something and that she's always running into doors, falling down stairs and shit like that. He also said one night he heard some noises upstairs that sounded like some kind of trouble, some kind of fight. And then the next day he was all like "Yo, Luka what was with the noise last night." And she went off on him and she was all like "Just don't ask me what it was, it's not your fuckin business anyway". He said he wouldn't talk to her, if it wasn't for that monster rack (when I say monster rack I mean that she had huge funbags) (when I say funbags I mean chesticles) (when I say chesticles I mean breasts)

How to Drew a crowd

2007-11-07T05:00:00Z

About a month back, the accounting department, where I worked hired this girl named Drew. Drew is nothing special. She is a about 50, with blonde hair (with contrasting roots), and a heavy layer of make-up (grease paint). Although I find nothing special about Drew, it seem like I am the only male in the office that isn't infatuated with her. You never see Drew without her entourage of dudes. I started to wonder why everyone found Drew so fascinating and why I didn't feel the same way. Maybe Drew secretes some sort of vaginal pheromone that attracts men, but has no effect on monkeys. I'm not sure. About a week ago, I heard rumor that Drew has had more wieners in her mouth than a taste tester for Hebrew National. I started to think that this might attribute to her male following. But after further consideration, I changed my mind. If she was playing the skin flute for all these dudes, the herd would begin to thin after gratification. I now believe that Drew is just a tease leading these guys around and having them do things for her. And the Hebrew National rumor was just some vicious lie created by a distraught dude from her entourage, or a lie created by Drew herself to make the men in the herd believe they have a chance at oral gratification making it easier for her to get them to do shit for her, or maybe a vicious lie created by a monkey with attention deficit disorder who gets bored easily at work and amuses himself by starting shit and watching it unfold.

Lance Briggs what are you hiding

2007-08-29T05:00:00Z

Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs said he panicked after crashing his new Lamborghini along a highway early Monday morning and initially reported his car stolen after abandoning the mangled vehicle. Later, he called back and accepted responsibility for crashing the car.

I'm sorry but if you abandon a new Lamborghini on the side of the rode you were doing something, on something, or transporting something that you didn't want the PoPo to know about. So let's play a game I like to call Lance Briggs what are you hiding. It's an easy game, I just list a few possibilities of what Lance was covering up and my readers are welcome to vote on which one they agree with or write in their own theory of what illegal activity Lance was up to.

Lance Briggs what are you hiding

1. Lance Briggs was on his way to Hollywood Video to return Cornhole Canyon (also known as Brokeback Mountain 2) when he crashed his new Lamborghini, embarrassed by his DVD chose and knowing damn well that if it was made public he would remembered as a Packer and not a Bear. He abandon his new Lamborghini, walked to Hollywood Video and discreetly used the drop box.

2. Lance Briggs was running black tar heroin for Tony Montana

3. Lance Briggs was driving across the US wearing adult nappies, assaulting and attempting to kidnap a love rival when he crashed his new Lamborghini, bringing his evil plan to a screeching halt.

4. Lance Briggs knew his blood-alcohol level was at 0.12 percent, which just happens to be the exact percent that people start making anti-Semitic comments. Knowing that he would offend 90% of the luxury box ticket holders, he abandon his new Lamborghini to avoid talking to the police and untimely alienating Bear fans.

5. Lance Briggs and R Kelly were rushing to a girl scout meeting when Lance crashed his new Lamborghini, both men had been holding a piss for several hours (for obvious reasons) and abandon the vehicle in an attempt to find a reststop.

Courting Trisha

2007-06-18T15:43:00Z

The other day at work, the big boss came down and asked Trisha if she could go to St, Paul and give a presentation. I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned Trisha, but let me tell you she is by far the hottest girl at the office and has a pair of fun-bags to die for. Trisha said no because she didn't want to leave her teenage son, Jason, alone. I saw this as a opportunity to get closer to her and volunteered to watch the boy. Now that you have the back-story, I'll get on with the real story.

I decided to stay at Trisha house and watch the boy, because I don't have a spare room now that CJ is living with me and CJ did stab his last roommate. And I bet if my cousin shanked Trisha's son it would put a serious damper on me bedding her. So I moved into her home for a few days. The first night Jason was pretty good, no problems. The second night, I caught him trying to sneak his girlfriend, Eileen, in at around midnight. I couldn't have that shit happening, him knocking some chic up while I'm in charge would certainly put the kibosh on bangin'mom. On the third and final night I walked in on him watching some porn. I thought to myself, I should screw with this kid's head, so I did. I sat next to him and said "Isn't that Ron Jeremy". He replied "Yeah". I said "look at the size of that rod". He replied "I know". Then I said "It must be embarrassing to be that small and do porn." This kids jaw about hit the fucking floor. Then I went on to tell him that they only hire porn stars with really small peckers, that way the average man feels better about himself. Then when Ron shot a load on that hoochies face I told him that all girls love that and if you want to keep a lady that's what you gotta do. Then I had to exit the room before I laughed in that naive little bastards face (I do mean bastard literally).

So the next day Trisha got home so I packed my shit up and left. I thought I had laid some good ground work and that this me and Trisha thing was gonna happen, until last night. Trisha called and told me she was worried about Jason. She went on to tell me that since she has been home, he's been asking about male enhancement surgeries and that his girlfriend went blind in one eye. I said nothing of course. If that kid rats me out I'll never get into Trisha's pants, good thing I snagged a pair of panties when I was staying at her house.

Sweet Revenge

2007-06-03T05:00:00Z

Last Friday, Larry from accounting was celebrating 30 years with the company. So all the associates were supposed to meet in the lunch room at last break for cake and to congratulate Larry on his 30 years of service. When last break finally arrived, we all went to the break room. That's when we all noticed that someone had snuck in earlier and dipped their fingers into Larry's cake. One of the associates noticed that there were a few hairs stuck in the icing next to the divot in the cake. And being the only monkey on the payroll, all fingers pointed to me. Everyone started giving me shit about ruining Larry's 30 year celebration.

Jill, from the call center, called me "Pastry Monkey". WOW! That was a real knee slapper. With gems like that I can't believe she hasn't been promoted to the creative department. That witless bitch needs to keep her one-liners to herself and stick to answering the fucking phone.

Even Manuel, the janitor, was giving me shit. He said "Ese sucio itallian enmarcado Porsche mono" and even though I don't speak Mexican, I could tell he was giving me shit.

So I started to think about who could have violated Larry's cake. Then it hit me, Guido from customer service. Guido is the only associate hairier than me and he's a real prick. I remember a few years back the company asked him if he would shave his chest and back and donate the hair to some charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. And he said "NO". What kind of guy would say no to helping kids with cancer? The same kind of guy that would finger another mans cake, that's who.

Once I figured everything out, I snuck out of the party. I went down to the call center and found Jill's work station. Then took both ends of Jill's phone and rubbed my ass all over it. I don't want to get overly graphic, but let's just say AT&T could have given me a prostate exam.

Then I went down to customer service and I went through Guido's desk. And I quickly located a bottle of Scope. What happened next I will leave to your imagination.

I spent the rest of my day amusing myself by prank calling Jill. On my way out the door Guido stopped me and asked if I had any hard feeling. As I smelled his breath, which smelled like a cross between cool peppermint and monkey dick, I just smiled and said were good.

"The Friendly Village"

2007-05-10T05:00:00Z

Friday night me, Cousin CJ, and Manuel (the janitor from work) went out to a bar called "The Friendly Village" to hear my brother George's Elton John tribute band "The Swallows" perform.

The bar looked like a real dive from the outside, but once we got inside it was a pretty nice place. They had this whole rainbow décor going on, the place was really colorful. We had about 30 minutes before George's band was going to play, so me and the guys went up to the bar to get a drink. Now I know why this bar is called the Friendly Village, as soon as we got to the bar we had guys offering to buy us drinks. I'm not sure if they knew we were with the band or if they just knew we weren't regular and just wanted to be hospitable, but who cares I love free drinks. I had a few guys ask me if I would be interested in a "Money Shot". I said no I was going to stick to beer, whenever I start drinking hard liqueur I show my ass. And I'm not even sure what's in a "Money Shot", I'm guessing "Goldschlager".

As we were all enjoying our drinks, Manuel tapped me on my shoulder and pointed across the bar. He was pointing at some dude we work with named Guido. Me and Guido don't really get along, he recently embarrassed me in front of my co-workers. But it seemed rude not to go up and say hi. So me and Manuel left CJ at the bar and went to talk to Guido. As soon as Guido saw us you could tell he was exited to see us. After we talked for a few minutes Guido asked that we not tell anyone from work we saw him. I'm guessing that he has a drinking problem and doesn't want the people at work to find out that hangs out in bars. I don't care, I respect a man's privacy, and he told us if I didn't tell he would take my shift next Saturday and that he would clean the executive bathroom all next week for Manuel. And the only thing I like better than free drinks is weekends off.

Finally "The Swallows" performed. My brother did a real good job and the crowd loved them. They went wild when they sang "Rocket Man" and "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore", but "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me" got them a standing ovation.

After the show I told George that I really enjoyed the show. And he was telling me that he has been seeing someone for a few weeks and that we should go out to dinner in a week or two, so I can meet his new special friend (that's called foreshadowing). I'm looking forward to meeting George's new girlfriend he hasn't had one for as long as I can remember.

On the way home I asked Manuel and CJ what they thought of the evening. Manuel said ""Pirata del asno" and "fumador del sasuage", but I still don't speak Mexican, so I have no idea what that means. CJ said "Fuk wat you gonna throw, dat brokeback cock watchin me", but I still don't speak whatever CJ speaks, so I have no idea what that means. I had a pretty good time even though I never figured out what they spilled in the bathroom to make them floors so damn sticky or why the stall had a hole drilled in it.

Working Class Hero

2007-04-23T05:00:00Z

Great news, CJ got a job. Yesterday was his first day at Circuit City. Hopefully he will be back on his feet in no time and be able to move out of my house. Circuit City must be a great place to work, last night CJ brought home a new plasma TV. He told me he was the millionth employee and his prize was the TV. He also said that next week they are giving away a navigation system. He already told me that if he can snag that prize, I can have it. It will be sweet as hell in the Porsche. It's hard to believe that CJ has only been out of jail for 3 weeks and he has already found a great job and George has been in town a few months and can't find a full time one. I don't think George is looking very hard.

Speaking of George, him and a few friends started up a band (with all that spare time he could have been using to find a job). I haven't heard them play yet but George says that they are an Elton John tribute band and that they call themselves "The Swallows". I think they were named after Elton's favorite type of bird. George says they got a gig next month at "The Friendly Village", so I can hear them then.