I live in the great state of Illinois, where they have recently put a smoking ban into effect. As of January 1, smoking is illegal in restaurants, bars, nightclubs, workplaces, and all public buildings. Smoking is also banned within 15 feet of building entrances, exits, and windows. As a no-smoker I couldn't give less of a shit about the new law. But smokers seem to think that some how they lost their constitutional rights. Not a day goes by I don't hear a smoker say "I thought I lived in America" or "Thought we were Americans" or "Wish we still lived in America". I hear these phrases so much that if I got 5 dollars every time I heard a disgruntle smoker utter these words I would be able to buy another Porsche by the end of January (this may be a slight exaggeration, but it would be close)
I have nothing against smokers, but their constant bitching is driving me crazy. So you can't smoke in a restaurant, restaurants are for eating not smoking, So you can't smoke at work, I can't masturbate at work either, but you don't hear me quoting the bill of rights about it. So you can't smoke in bars and nightclubs, alright, you got me, that one is kind of bullshit. I'm sorry you can't smoke, but it's not like someone made you sit at the back of the bus because you smoked or arrested you for drinking from the non-smokers water fountain. (You are not oppressed).

As a non-smoker one thing that does bother me is when people come over and smoke in my house. I got this friend Steve, and every time he comes over he lights up. And every time I have to say "Hay Steve you know I don't smoke, why did you light up", and he gives me a "Sorry, dude". So last week Steve was over and he lit up as usual. So I gave him my standard don't smoke in my house thing and instead of his standard "Sorry dude" I got the new smokers battle cry "I thought I lived in America". Which really pissed me off, I don't care if Steve wants to be an obnoxious fuck about smoking to restaurants, bars, nightclubs, or at work. But it's my house and my policy has never changed.

So I was over at Steve's house the other night having a few beers. That's when I noticed he had bought new furniture; he had this new leather sofa and love seat. I swear to you the more I drank the more that leather love seat looked like a naked Oprah Winfrey. I knew that Steve didn't dry hump his furniture, but then I thought back about how rude he was about smoking in my house, so I fucked the shit out of that love seat. Steve was all "Get the hell off my sofa!" I simply relied "Sorry dude, I thought I lived in America"
I wonder which is harder to get rid of, the smell of smoke in a room, or love stains on a leather sofa.